Drabble: Assumptions

[dexstarr]

Title: Assumptions
Author: dexstarr
Word Count: 100
Rating: PG
Challenge: slytherin100 #140: Assumption
Characters: Pansy Parkinson, Draco Malfoy
Warnings: None
Author's Note: I've had this idea in my head for about a while, and I'm not perfectly happy with it, but I can't put my finger on what's off. Oh well, more practice on writing Pansy.
Disclaimer: HP and all assorted belong to JKR, and are not mine.

***

“No?”

Pansy smirked at the disbelief in his voice. Draco still wasn’t used to being refused anything, even though the Malfoy name had lost considerable respect since the war.

“No,” she repeated, relishing the wounded look on his face.

“But Pansy – it’s what you’ve always wanted. To be a Malfoy –”

She laughed bitterly, interrupting him. “It’s what I wanted, before. But I happen to know Daddy told you to marry, and you assumed I’d be happy to go along with the idea. But your family isn’t exactly on top, anymore, Draco.”

“Neither is yours,” he shot sullenly.

“No, it’s not.”

***

Comments

[reg-flint.livejournal.com]

HA! You get nastyyy, Pansy!

[dexstarr.livejournal.com]

I like nasty Pansy. Like a younger Bellatrix, just not as batshit crazy.

[reg-flint.livejournal.com]

;) I enjoyed it a lot, y'know!

[dexstarr.livejournal.com]

Glad to hear! I have a ton of ideas concerning Pansy, so the more practice I do with her, the better.

[scarysnapey.livejournal.com]

I completely see what you're saying about something being off, and I think that the off-ness comes from the abrupt quality of the last line. I totally get what you're saying, and I looooove nasty/bitchy/evildracobitchslapping Pansy, but I think that there needs to be something in between the "No," and the "it's". Like, "No," she said quietly, "it's not."

But that kind of clashes with the 100 words thing.

But that's just my two cents.

/concrit

[dexstarr.livejournal.com]

Yup, I think you're right. The ending is really abrupt, and due to 1) me not having an ending in mind, and 2) running out of words. I didn't have enough to make it 100x2. Grrrr for drabbles.

Thanks for the concrit though, I appreciate it. I have like four Pansy ideas in the works right now, so getting her right is good! :D

[scarysnapey.livejournal.com]

I am so tempted to weed through my posts in order to find the one where you said that you don't like Pansy much. Just because it's so awesome that you write her so much now. I'm too lazy to go look, but your Pansy is awesome.

[dexstarr.livejournal.com]

LOL I know! I guess reading some good fics with her changed my opinion. Book!Pansy is so 1-D, and I think that's where my dislike came from. Pansy's in a scene? Oh you know insults or sucking up to Draco is coming. But fic has expanded my view on her, and now I enjoy her. Like I said to valkyriekat, I'm starting to think of her as a younger Bella almost, just with much less insanity and inherent evilness.

And I'm so happy you think my Pansy is awesome! :D

[starduchess.livejournal.com]

This was a good look at Pansy and Draco after the war. He's still expecting to be followed and obeyed and she has to set him straight.

I think what's off isn't just the last line, but that whole last little play. I never saw the Parkinsons as being on top, more that they were into ladder climbing, if you catch my drift, so Draco's jibe of "neither is yours" doesn't really make sense. Maybe change to "'You're one to talk,' he shot sullenly. 'Yes, I am.'" I think that works better. Take out the first "but" from the previous paragraph and you sill have 100 words.

BTW, I'm friending you!

[dexstarr.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I agree with you. I like how I started it, and that's one of the reasons I kept with it and posted it, but I didn't have a clear idea for the ending. Then I ran out of word space and ended up with a problem.

So far I've just been looking at these as practice in writing Pansy, since I have some longer ideas for her. So working on getting the voice right mainly.

Thanks for your suggestions!

[dexstarr.livejournal.com]

Thanks! That's where my idea for this came from, that line about Draco's disbelief.