Drabble: Assumptions

[dexstarr]

Title: Assumptions
Author: dexstarr
Word Count: 100
Rating: PG
Challenge: slytherin100 #140: Assumption
Characters: Pansy Parkinson, Draco Malfoy
Warnings: None
Author's Note: I've had this idea in my head for about a while, and I'm not perfectly happy with it, but I can't put my finger on what's off. Oh well, more practice on writing Pansy.
Disclaimer: HP and all assorted belong to JKR, and are not mine.

***

“No?”

Pansy smirked at the disbelief in his voice. Draco still wasn’t used to being refused anything, even though the Malfoy name had lost considerable respect since the war.

“No,” she repeated, relishing the wounded look on his face.

“But Pansy – it’s what you’ve always wanted. To be a Malfoy –”

She laughed bitterly, interrupting him. “It’s what I wanted, before. But I happen to know Daddy told you to marry, and you assumed I’d be happy to go along with the idea. But your family isn’t exactly on top, anymore, Draco.”

“Neither is yours,” he shot sullenly.

“No, it’s not.”

***

Comments

[starduchess.livejournal.com]

This was a good look at Pansy and Draco after the war. He's still expecting to be followed and obeyed and she has to set him straight.

I think what's off isn't just the last line, but that whole last little play. I never saw the Parkinsons as being on top, more that they were into ladder climbing, if you catch my drift, so Draco's jibe of "neither is yours" doesn't really make sense. Maybe change to "'You're one to talk,' he shot sullenly. 'Yes, I am.'" I think that works better. Take out the first "but" from the previous paragraph and you sill have 100 words.

BTW, I'm friending you!

[dexstarr.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I agree with you. I like how I started it, and that's one of the reasons I kept with it and posted it, but I didn't have a clear idea for the ending. Then I ran out of word space and ended up with a problem.

So far I've just been looking at these as practice in writing Pansy, since I have some longer ideas for her. So working on getting the voice right mainly.

Thanks for your suggestions!